The last couple of years have led to an avalanche of books on happiness. It seems that we are in a "happiness" epidemic. Specials on TV (20/20 had a recent show, for example), and articles in magazines all point to our capacity for happiness.

This is NOT what I mean by Thriving! Understand, I don't think people should avoid happiness. I just don't think that is the target to aim for. We have started using happiness as the goal, not the side-effect.

And that is why the "happiness movement" will fail. Happiness ends up being elusive, difficult to control, and open to a wide range of definitions. In fact, I think we have reduced any chance of happiness now being a useful term. Some use the idea of euphoria as a definition, others are describing joy and contentment but say happiness, and still others are really looking for that fleeting feeling.

You see, I believe that happiness is actually an external reference. In other words, something has to happen "out there" for me to be happy. Perhaps living in a bigger house, living in different geological location, having other gadgets, finding a new love, or some other change will make me happy. But I have only so much control of the "out there." And research is showing that in lots of ways, we have a certain "set point." When something good or bad happens, within a year to year-and-a-half, we return to our previous level of happiness (or unhappiness).

But thriving, that is an internal activity. I can choose to follow a thriving life, regardless of what is going on around me. I don't have to have new stuff, new love, or a new house to be thriving. And since it is about forming habits of thriving, I can raise my base level of thriving over and over. I can continue to push forward and learn to thrive, IN SPITE of life events. I really can choose to thrive.

Try to choose to be happy. You may be able to do that in the short-term, but it is hard to sustain. But thriving, that is sustainable and achievable by anyone.

So, to say it clearly, Happiness DOES NOT EQUAL Thriving.

HAPPINESS THRIVING
External Internal
Short-Term Long-Term
Feeling Action
Set-Point Base-Point

Labels: Happiness, positive psychology, thriveology, thriving

I have created my first YouTube video from scratch! It ain't great, but it is an entry for a contest to help me create a best-selling book. Would you please watch it? I need as many views as possible. . . and it really is a video about thriving. Plus, it only lasts 2 minutes, but great quotes at the end!

Labels: bethenextbestsellingauthor.com, diagnosis, resilience, sarchoidosis, simpleology.com, thriveology, thriving

My, how time flies! It has been several months since I last posted. Don't take that as a sign that this website is dropped!

On the contrary! I have not been posting because I am currently working on a book about thriving.

So, I wanted to quickly note: more is on the way, then encourage you to read my next entry. It is content, content!

Thriver Profile: Nick Vujicic

Another Thriver profile, and quite different from the last one!

Who: Nick Vujicic

Why He Thrives: Nick was born with a birth defect that the doctors are unable to explain. But he was born without limbs. Imagine the challenge of that! A lifetime of adversity, and yet Nick is living a beautiful life. He lives with a strong faith, and as independently as possible. You can read more about Nick's story here.

The Thriving Lesson: Nick teaches one crucial lesson on thriving -- It is not what happens to you, but how you respond to it! --

On a daily basis I hear from people who proclaim that they cannot go on, that life is just unfair and too hard! Sometimes, there really are some big obstacles. Other times, there are just annoyances that we let get out of perspective.

But Nick is a reminder of what overcoming adversity is really about! Take a look at his video, then visit his website!

Labels: disabilities, nick vujicic, overcoming adversity

Thriver Profile: Randy Pausch

This is our first Thriver profile, and it is amazing!

Imagine that you are a seemingly healthy forty-seven year-old man, only to discover that you have cancer. It is treated, and you think it is in remission. But it returns as inoperable, untreatable cancer. Imagine you have 3 to 6 months to live. What do you do? Randy Pausch decides to keep living!

Here is a quick introduction of Randy:

Career Path: Randy is currently a professor at Carnegie-Mellon, but has been very successful on a number of projects, primarily concerned with virtual reality.

Life Path: Randy is married and has several children.

What We Learn: We are all dying. Randy happens to have some idea of when that is. So life is something to value, whether we expect to die sooner or later. Our task is to live life as a gift, embracing it.

Life is not about avoiding pain and not about living long. It is about living fully, giving all you can, taking advantage of your gifts and challenges.

You can learn more about Randy and his life at his web page.



I don't need to give you a great deal of background on Randy, because he does that himself in his "Final Lecture." This is an incredible lecture that was given as a part of a series at the university where Pausch teaches. The video is long, but it is incredible! The man is a thriver by any definition.

More than that, he proves that thriving is not about necessarily living for a long time. Thrivers do not avoid illness or injury. Instead, thrivers live a life fully, no matter how much time is left.

If you are ready for a moving experience, you need to watch the video below. This video holds the lessons of thriving, even if Randy doesn't note it as such. Grab a tissue and sit back for the incredible video.



If you would like to see his interview on Good Morning America, Click Here.

I use the term "Thriver" two different ways. First, I use it in referring to those who naturally thrive. Perhaps it is innate, biological, or learned skill. But this is someone who has never made it a study to learn to thrive (that would be a Thrivealist, someone who develops the skills of thriving). So, my dear grandmother, who at 95 tells me every year that "this is the best year ever." She is a thriver, always has been, and she did not go seeking a lesson in thriving. This is rare.

I also use the term to describe someone I see in life who is thriving, but whom I don't know whether they have made an effort to become a thriver or not. In other words, when I see a news story about someone thriving, I can tell you they are a thriver, but not whether this was a conscious choice or not. It becomes a generic, albeit important, term.

So, we will be looking at those who thrive in this blog. These are people who have taken adversity and used it to propel themselves forward, into a more expanded life.

Know of a Thriver? Tell me, and we will look at a profile.

Labels: adversity, growth, resilience, thriveology, thriving

You may be asking, "What is Thriveology?" Simply put, this is a term I am using to describe the art and science (and the study of) thriving.

In my opinion, the majority of people are basically managing life, just getting by. This is "survival mode." In that mode, you keep your head down, try to avoid too much struggle or conflict, and hope problems will pass. (They don't!)

Some people ascribe to the idea of being resilient. I did. This is the idea that when something tough or bad happens, you "bounce back." In other words, you get to the point where you are functioning as well as you were before the problem. If you are sick, for instance, when you get better you return to your normal routine.

Then there are those few who actually use crisis, conflict, and difficulties to move ahead of where they were. Or even without a crisis, these people work to live life to the fullest level possible! They are after optimal living. These people, I refer to as Thrivers. Something naturally within them keeps them in thriving mode.

Those who do not naturally have these attributes can still learn them. We all can become students of the skills of thriving. When we take that on, we are what I refer to as Thrivealists!

You probably know about Survivalists, those who are convinced that something bad is going to happen, so they had better be prepared. Well, a Thrivealist nurtures a different belief. Thrivealists have a sneaking suspicion that things are going to work out alright.

That brings us to this blog. Here, we will examine the traits of those who thrive. We will become Thrivealists by studying Thriveology! Can you think of a better tool for living?

By the way, if you know of people who thrive, let me know. I will be adding profiles of thrivers as often as possible.

Labels: better living, optimal living, resilience, self-help, thriveology, thriving